The Power of Forgiveness: How to Forgive When You’ve Been Hurt

Joseph had every reason to be bitter. 

His brothers betrayed him, sold him into slavery, and left him to suffer. He was later falsely accused and imprisoned, then forgotten by someone who had promised to remember him. Yet in Genesis 45, we read that Joseph stands face-to-face with the same brothers who had hurt him years earlier and forgives them. 

How? Through a lifetime of dependence on God. Because that’s ultimately what it takes to forgive. 

Forgiveness Isn’t a Feeling — It’s a Command 

In Matthew 18:21-35, Peter asks Jesus how many times he should forgive someone who sins against him. Jesus’s response – both the numeric one and the parable He tells about the unmerciful servant – shows us that for believers, there is no limit to the forgiveness we should extend. 

Forgiveness isn't something we wait until we feel ready. It’s an act of obedience that reflects the forgiveness we’ve been shown by our Heavenly Father. 

Grace received must become grace extended. 

Forgiveness Involves Sacrifice 

In order to forgive us, Jesus had to lay down His life. Likewise, we have to lay down a part of ourselves in order to forgive others. Human nature demands we get even when someone wrongs us, but forgiveness requires us to sacrifice our desire for revenge. 

This doesn’t mean justice isn’t important. It simply means you trade enacting your own justice for trusting in our just God Who cares for us and will one day make all things right (Romans 12:19). 

Forgiveness Doesn’t Mean What Happened Was Okay 

Forgiving someone also doesn't mean we forget what happened, excuse the offense, or pretend the hurt isn't real. 

Joseph never called his brothers' actions good. In Genesis 50:20, he acknowledged that they intended evil, while recognizing that God had worked through their actions for good. 

True forgiveness includes being honest about the hurt caused, while choosing not to carry it forward. Joseph could have, in his pain, refused to allow his brothers to take any grain. Instead, he didn’t just give them grain; he invited them to come live with him. 

Forgiveness Isn’t Dependent on the Other Person’s Admission of Guilt 

We’re called to forgive regardless of whether the person that has hurt us apologizes or not. Paul writes in Romans 12:19, “as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” That’s one thing that makes forgiveness so powerful: it can happen even if reconciliation doesn’t. 

Joseph’s forgiveness leads to the restoration of a family broken by jealousy and betrayal, but he lived in peace before his brothers said they were sorry. 

Reconciliation isn’t always possible because it takes the work of both parties. But a life free from the control of bitterness and fear? That’s what forgiveness provides, and it doesn’t need an apology from anyone. It only requires you to trust in the Lord’s faithfulness. 

Forgiveness Requires Supernatural Power 

Forgiveness can feel impossible — but all things are possible through Christ. 

The Holy Spirit gives us the power to do what we cannot do ourselves. When you find it hurts too much to forgive, focus on the forgiveness you’ve received from God. Praise Him for it and ask Him to make the grace He has shown you overflow from within you. 

Because forgiven people forgive. 

This post is inspired by the second message of Mt. Bethel Church’s sermon series, “God Meant it For Good,” by Dr. Jody Ray.